Monday 1 April 2013

April Fools Day and Me.

Being born on April Fools day is no Joke let me tell you.  First of all, you have to endure the same old comments every time you mention it.  'Ha ha April fool'  and the 'Only Kevin Holland would be born on April 1st'.  Not exactly the best way to start a birthday.

Then, oh yes, the years of 'No no no, this year it really is a great present' from the sisters.  Like every year, I would open the first box to reveal another, unwrap that one to reveal another. And so it goes on for what feels like ages until you finally reach the matchbox size one wrapped in sellotape so tightly you begin to wish you never bit your nails.  Finally, you prize it open to reveal that little piece of paper, again. 'April Fool'  And you have to pretend it's funny.  Again!

I WAS 10 FFS!  All I wanted was a normal birthday and normal presents!

So 46 yrs later, here we are again.  But wait.  What beholds........   Well so far so good.  Through the virtue of Facebook i have had dozens of well wishers, a couple of texts and some phone calls.  A handful of cards from immediate family and a big pile of presents..  oh here we go I think to myself and start, slowly and surely, in front of the family to unwrap them.  Not wanting to spoil their prankster mentality, I prepare myself and start to open them.

First, a nice new hoody from Ralph Lauren,  and it fits perfectly.  OK, i think to myself,  good start.  What next.  I go for the large box, expecting the age old box in a box present that I fall for every yr.  But no.  Its a clock.  A big clock for the wall in the shed.  Nice one i think to myself.  I continue through an assortment of smelly's, a few packs of liquorice allsorts, some more smelly's and a pile of presents wrapped in silver paper from Harriet.

Some car mats, some dashboard wipes, a few air fresheners and some upholstery cleaner.  Baring  in mind i almost live in the car, these are good presents.  Then there was nothing left!  I had done it.  I had got through a whole pile without one Apil fool present!

So, with the kids packed off to Downham to visit friends for the day, dishes all washed after breakfast, i decide to use the smelly's and wear the new top.  It feels like Christmas I can tell you.  And then down the drive to clean the inside of the car for the first time what seems like months. 

Then the magic moment arrives.  Mid day and not one prank, comment or spoof present.

In a way, i feel kind of cheated now, as it wouldn't be the same without at least one person using me as the butt of their joke, but maybe next yr..... maybe next yr.

Happy Birthday me.

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